2002-11-17|Chapter 35 - be careful for what you wish for

CHAPTER 35 – BE CAREFUL FOR WHAT YOU WISH FOR

FINAL WORD COUNT - 52,108

I'M DONE! TAKE THAT, FUCKERS!

Umm, anyway. We've come to the end, my friends. It was a nice 17 days, but I'm glad it's over. I need to focus on graduating, which you know, would be a good idea and everything. So thank you for reading, I appreciate it. It was good times.

*****

The years passed by, and the Rocket Queens only got bigger. The houses grew into mansions, the cars got bigger and better, and the egos got even bigger. The band loved each other, sure, but they didn’t really hang out socially much anymore when they didn’t have to. They went to parties together and would mingle together, but if they didn’t have to be in the same room together, they wouldn’t be.

The truth was, something died with Jenny that they couldn’t replace. She took the spirit of the band with her, and no matter how long they were a band, they couldn’t replace what they had with Jenny. She brought them together, and while her memory kept them together, it just wasn’t the same. Nothing would ever be the same again.

Aura never talked to William again after she left his house that day. She loved him, and she knew he knew that too, but she could never be with him. First of all, she loved Christian, but most importantly, he killed her father. While she appreciated that, she couldn’t be with someone who killed her father in cold blood like that. It wasn’t right.

On New Years Eve in 2001, Aura Aliaga was 35 years old. She was still partying with the same people she brought in the year with when she was 16, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. She loved these girls, even if they were a pain in the ass.

At the show that night, Aura had a little chat with the audience.

“Hey fuckers, how are we doing tonight?”

The crowd yelled with joy.

“If the world suddenly ends tonight, just know that you got to die at a Rocket Queens concert. That should make it better.”

The crowd laughed a little, and she smiled.

“We’re going to play a little tune for you called “The Tangerine Rose” in a second, but first I want to tell you what it’s all about.” The crowd gave a deafening cheer. The song was almost 20 years old, but people still loved the crap out of it.

“It’s about a boy and a girl, you know how that starts, right? They fall in love and carry on this wonderful relationship for a few years, and then they both realize they can’t be together anymore. Why not, you ask? It’s simple, really. Some people are just so right for each other that they just come out all wrong. You may love someone more than anything but hate them with a vengeance. I know. I’ve been there.” She looked directly at Carmella when she said this, and Carmella smiled and gave her the finger. She bowed gracefully.

“The song is also about not giving up on what you want the most, and you can apply that to anything, not just love,” she said, taking the microphone out of the holder and walking around the stage. “Take us. We were eating stale pizza out of the box when we first came to LA, and now we own the pizza place.” The crowd screamed for them and started a chant of “We love the queens, we love the queens!”

“That’s right, that’s right. Anyway, never give up on your dreams, folks. If we would have given up, we’d still be living separate lives, miserable because we weren’t doing what we loved. If you love something, don’t give up on it. Keep it going. Forever.”

She launched into “The Tangerine Rose” with a certain satisfaction. She was jaded and corrupt, sure. She was bitter and materialistic and she had definitely let fame get to her head, but she still loved what she did.

What she didn’t tell the audience, or anyone else for that matter, was the cause of her bitterness. Aura no longer respected herself. She felt like she had sold out, and there was a simple reason for this: she let the media exploit Jenny’s death.

The media jumped on the Rocket Queen’s bandwagon only after Christian went on the air to talk about how he dealt with it. They never gave them a chance before Jenny’s death, but her death just made them more interesting. She let them exploit it, and she never said anything about it. She was disgusted with herself and the media, and for that reason, she never truly let herself be happy.

She was hounded by autograph seekers at all hours of the day, and while she used to love every minute of it, now she just did it out of duty, and not because she liked it. Aura was unhappy, but there was nothing she could do about it.

*****

When she looked at herself in the mirror, she no longer saw her own reflection. She saw a Rock Star looking back, someone who’s seen many things and lost just as much. She saw the face of someone who was wealthy, and never lacked for anything. She had friends, a loving husband, and she was famous. But fame never could buy Aura Aliaga happiness, and she never forgave it for that.

Aura, disgusted by her reflection, turned off the bathroom light and sat down on the bed. It was yet another hotel room bed, empty because her husband, couldn’t come with her on this tour. Back in the beginning, the band used to share hotel rooms, but now, almost 20 years later, they seldom even shared the same hotel.

As a teenager, Aura had wanderlust. She wanted to explore the world, and she wanted to cause chaos in every corner of it. She had a thirst for life, an ache, an itch that couldn’t be scratched by an office job, doing 9 to 5. Now, as a cynical, weather-beaten 36-year-old, she had seen it all, and she wasn’t impressed. All she wanted to have was a night of sleep without the burden of all the dreams.

She grabbed a few pills out their containers and stuffed them down, not even bothering to chase them with water. She and the pills were old pros now. It was the only thing that helped her sleep these days.

Even though she knew the pills would help her sleep, she wondered if there was anything strong enough to drive the dreams away. They always came, and they always reminded her of where she came from, what she had become, and what she had destroyed along the way.

As she felt the soothing effects of the pills come over her and calm her down, Aura curled up in a ball on the bed, not thinking to take her clothes off. She was just so tired, so very tired, and sleep was the only thing that kept her calm, even if the dreams would never leave her alone.

“Be careful for what you wish for, Aura. You just might get it.” These words continued to echo through her brain so much that she often wished she could find a good lobotomy doctor. She wanted a new brain.

When she started drifting off the street, her phone rang. Begrudgingly, she picked it up.

“Hello?” She said sleepily.

“Hey baby, were you asleep?”

She smiled. Christian’s voice always cheered her up.

“Yeah, but I’m awake now.”

“I’m in Phoenix right now. Where are you?”

“I forgot. Hold on, let me check.” Aura put the phone down and rooted around in the hotel’s drawer.

“Oh, here we are. Apparently we’re in Nova Scotia. Damn, that’s why it’s so fucking cold in here.”

Christian laughed. They were both on separate tours, and they always mused how their stops always looked the same. The same people, the same places to eat, the same hotels – nothing distinguished a new place.

“I miss you, baby. I wish you were on tour with us.”

“I do too. Maybe next time. We could do the “Happily Married” tour or something.”

They talked for a few more minutes, promising they would see each other soon. Aura loved Christian so much, but she wasn’t completely happy with him. There was a void in her that could only be filled by her soul mate, the one person on earth that she was truly meant to be with. She tried to fill that hole with something other than William, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t forget him. Liz told her that he was now a prominent doctor in Austin, and he was making good money. She was proud of him.

Aura’s last thought before drifting off to sleep again was a happy one. Sure, she was jaded, but she couldn’t find too much to complain about. Christian always brought out the optimist in her.

“Be careful for what you wish for, Aura. You just might get it.

“Shut up, dad,” she said, and then she drifted off to sleep, a smile on her face.

Posted by Liz @ 10:58 p.m.